The Bulls Rough Skin and Soft Soul

Cycling through the natural motions; the sun, the moon, and our planet Earth. The awareness of time: passing days, leading into months, and merging to years.  

During this time I am feeling a roller coaster of emotions. One moment I feel on top of the world, then seconds later a shift happens, where sadness or longing overcomes my once positive and happy state. The importance of understanding balance has been a key idea within my mind. As similar as the balance between the sun and moon, I understand the variety of my emotions is also a discovery of balance. Understanding sadness is vital to knowing when one is overflowing with happiness. Although these times may bring many challenges, I am in tune with the importance of this balance and all the moments I live. Many days will bring happiness and some days may bring challenging feelings, yet through it all the balance continues to be the spine of existence. I guess it all comes down to the path given the most attention to, for this path will come out on top. 

   Happiness, joy, love, openness; Sadness, jealousy, frusteration, impatience. 

Welcoming these emotions into my life. Feeling them. Living them. Acknowledging them. Embody the positive and release the negative. I am living a life I myself have asked for. Years in the making and it is finally here, yet I am still missing the tools to think and live a mentally healthy life. 

Tiny living within this cottage has been a freeing and grounding experience that has shifted my life into balance. While finding balance and a sense of whole being, the search for connection is still on. 

It’s a funny thing you know, to be knowledgable and skillful with many trades, while staying moderately talented in each path.  I’m passionate towards a plethora of career paths, yet not sure where to place my time and energy. How, as humans, do we choose a path of income? Is it possible to mix a life of many passions together for your sorce of wealth? Do certifications  and schooling need to be in place for success within each path? If so, how does one balance finances, time, health, and energy during the completion of each developed background? 

 Balance is key. Within every part of life, this search for equalness is on. 

Confused about my feelings I am still holding on tightly too, even though these feelings directly connect to PAST experiences. How powerful to have the strength, forgiveness, and awareness to let go of past feelings attached to memories. 

The harsh truth about life and death; the balance between the two is necessary and inevitable.

Loosing my first blood relative was a heartbreakingly empty feeling. She was just shy of 90 years of living when letting go was decided. My Grammy, a woman I love and cherish more than any vocabulary could express, was a beautiful soul. 

Memory is a beautifully overlooked key to awareness. 

Her memory and mind had been working against itself for years. A devastating experience to be apart of, yet I can only image how she felt. 

Feeling your acknowledgment to my presence and believing your understanding of my infinite love for you, brought peace to your devasted Renée. You are and will forever be deeply missed and appreciated. I love you. 

 The balance of mind, body, and soul. 

Life in this home, one I’ve come to call a cottage, is enchanting. Living the high life of a parrellel world. Long distance hiking involves patience, self trust, awareness; the truth comes out, once memories and feelings become the main thought. Tiny cottage living may have a space to hold my belongings, something that after a couple years I have learned to deeply appreciate, though the way of living mirrors life as a nomad, gypsy, traveler. 

…then life continues. Spreading kindness and love along the way xo